Before I got married, I built lots of castles in the air. One of those was wishing I would have at least 7 kids… I mean that’s officially a whole basketball team! Did you just scream? I actually had my reasons which I would share in a subsequent post. Well, reality has found me wondering what was going through my mind then, because with three girls, I hardly find time to say ‘Hey’.
Having lots of kids was once considered a necessity by most people, but the last decade of years have shown shifting trends surrounding that. Someone once told me “ 1 well trained daughter is equal to 10 sons” and she was so right. Thinking about that now, the most important factor to consider when having kids should not be to have a house full of irresponsible children but rather to have level-headed kids.
Doctors would always recommend that the best time to have another child is after the older sibling turns two or at least wait for 18 to 23 months and make sure there are no health issues. I felt I could take preventive measures on my own without any sort of medical or professional advice and help but when I found myself taking in for my second and third daughter without even knowing or planning those pregnancies, I knew something had to be done. I ran as fast as my legs could take me to get an intrauterine device inserted. #Phew!!!
Now the question is this; ‘Should You Plan Or Not Plan The Number Of Children You Want To Have?’
· First, I think couples should make a wish together and stick to it to avoid resentment arising in future. Some couples may want fewer children while others may want more, which is totally fine depending on their uniform agreement.
· Working towards the wish made should be realistic. For instance, there are different methods of family planning. Opt for a method in which the benefits and the effectiveness would outweigh the risk. Once you find one which suits you perfectly, go for it. Professional Counseling also helps to reassure and give the most suitable advice.
· The couple’s age and health is another important factor to consider when planning a family, especially that of the woman. Experts say the best age for a woman to bear children is between the ages of 20 and 35. The risk increases with age, from stretch marks, leaky bladder, postpartum depression, wrinkled stomach to the more severe complications. The earlier we get it over with, the better for everyone.
· Having kids comes with additional expenses- diapers, wipes, cloths, toys, food, nursery, medicine, eventually schooling, the list is endless. Kids are so innocently selfish. After all, they didn’t ask us to birth them and hence they deserve the best we can offer. Some other factors to consider would include deciding to be a stay at home mum, getting a live in help or not and so on.
· Be the best parent you can be to your kids. This takes a lot of love, wisdom, patience and flexibility but if your marriage is stormy, it will definitely affect the kids sooner or later. Please spare them the torture and try to resolve whatever the issue(s) may be.
· Which do you prefer? Smaller Family– investing more into the children but the children receive less sibling interaction.
Larger Family – investing less into the children but the children are hardly lonely. Growing up without siblings found me thinking towards this direction and wishing this for my kids.
Whichever you end up choosing, it’s still a WIN-WIN situation!
· Fear of the unknown and trying to be as predictable as possible. In the early stages, Hubz wanted two kids, but thanks to providence, we now have three and we are having a swell time and totally enjoying every bit of it!
How many kids do you have or hope to have someday? Are there any special reasons why?
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XOXO,
Yours Truly.
