I would admit that I am a wimp when it comes to meting out punishment to kids. Nevertheless, I am still of the opinion that no matter the provocation, harsh physical punishment and verbal abuse can never be justifiable ways to discipline children. Do you agree with me?
It may be surprising for you to know this, but spankings and other intense disciplinary measures don’t actually help kids to become more responsible. Understanding how to discipline your child is important to the parent- child dynamic.
Kids should be made to understand that for every action, there is a consequence. However, discipline and punishment is not the same thing. If you punish your child, you may not get the desired result.
Come to think of it…
Would you swat or slap a co-worker because he/she didn’t do a good job, spoke out of turn or disappointed you? Of course not! In any other situation, you would react with a certain degree of self-control.
Why can’t we administer this same measure of self control when dealing with our kids? I am not saying don’t spank at all. Of course, once in a while, I guess it’s okay to put your foot down and actually be firm and stern if you are being taken for granted. But that should be OCCASIONALLY!
Here are two options to get the job done;
Option A: If You Do This, You Will Be Punished!
Option B: If You Do This, You Will Be Rewarded!
Which do you prefer?
Life Is Soooo Easy When You Know The Rules…
I’m more of an Option B kinda mum.
I try to play the GOOD COP most of the time.
Although, there is a catch to using the reward strategy often… we need to learn to strike a balance so that it doesn’t end up looking like a transaction kind of thing- giving and getting. This actually backfires in the long run. I learnt this the hard way. (will share on a future post) Our main focus should be on establishing a close, personal relationship with our kids.
I spend any spare moments I have with them. I intentionally dedicate a certain amount of time uninterrupted by smart phones, tellys, lappys or any other form of distraction. Of course, it deprives me of having my ‘Me Time’ as often as I would like but what the heck? I mean, who needs that when they can trade it for those precious little moments with their kids. We can always find a way to have our ‘Me Time’ somehow, somewhere.
However, knowing when to say no and draw the line plays a very important role towards preventing recurring ‘off-track’ behavior from the kids. Interestingly, I still dabble with the NO factor till date. Hoping to get better though, so I am open to tips on how it’s done. #thumbs up.
Research shows that all misconduct is a misguided expression of a legitimate need. Address the underlying need and you eradicate the misbehavior.
Bottom line is if kids get used to being beaten a lot, at a point they will tend to develop a natural affinity to it kinda. Encourage positive behavior by using reward strategies and communication instead of punishing bad behavior all the time.
How do you discipline your child- biological or not? Are you authoritative or authoritarian? Please share your views and pattern.
Sharing is Caring!
XOXO,
Yours Truly.
