As we watch our kids grow up, we begin to realize that those babies we used to hold close to our bosom to nurse and cuddle, may not be so little anymore when they begin to ask questions like,
‘Mum, was dad your boyfriend before you both got married?’
That was the question my 7 year old asked which made me realize that it was time to take that Mum-Daughter talk to another level. I knew I would have to one day, but I didn’t expect it this soon anyway.
I played it cool because I knew that she was a curious child by nature and I didn’t want her to lock up if my reaction was not receptive- she’s also an extremely observant 7 year old.
This is definitely a hot topic in the parenting world so I thought to share.
I asked what she understood by the word, ‘boyfriend’. Personally, I felt that it wasn’t yet time to have the ‘birds and the bees’ talk but I needed to offer some sort of buffer and breakdown some facts for her little mind, so I grabbed the opportunity.
My Rule Of Thumb
- Try not to share more than is necessary. How will you know this? You respond in an age appropriate fashion by not divulging more information than is necessary. Go straight to the point when answering the question asked.
- Ask lots of questions. I asked a whole lot because I needed to know if this question was as innocent as it came. You’ll be surprised at the extra information that may unfold in the process. For me, I actually got to find out that she found a certain male character- ‘Adrian’, from Miraculous Ladybug animation, attractive and even considered him the cutest boy, after her dad and cousin brothers. *eyes rolling*. I don’t know if this girl realizes that it’s all fiction. I can’t complain though.
- I also emphasized on the importance of personal hygiene and keeping some parts private from everyone, just as the name suggests. This topic can never be over flogged because every opportunity is good enough to reiterate important deets.
- I backed up her response about boyfriends by concurring that dad was actually my friend because we needed to get to know each other before we got married so as not to hurt each other’s feelings.
- Also, I checked to be sure that she understood all I have said before asking her if I had satisfied her curiosity. I may have deviated a bit afterwards, but this helps me to avoid disclosing too much information that may not be age related and also give room to talk about other aspects that are important, while addressing her questions in the process.
One main benefit of having these talks from an early age is that they are able to make better decisions as they grow older. You would also have established a solid bond which will enable them to share almost anything or everything with you.
Remember, it’s not too late to start talking to your kids, just start already! Every opportunity is enough opportunity. How do you tackle uncomfortable questions from your kids? Please share how you handle these Mum-daughter talks or Parent-child talks as the case may be because sons are not left out!
XOXO
Yours Truly
Nikimandi.
Nikimandi
