Hi Lovelies,
Ihave never liked the idea of bringing a third party into my matrimonial home, but when I had my first daughter and I had to start serving my fatherland months after that, while expecting my second daughter all at the same time, I had no choice but to employ the services of live-in help. I had to meet up with the demands of having a toddler, being pregnant, going to work and everything else. It was simply obvious that I needed somebody to assist me, so I didn’t have a lot of options.
Despite being aware of the risk involved in bringing strangers and third parties into my matrimonial home…
…Despite the horrific escapades I’ve heard and read about some helps with malicious intentions…
…I still went ahead to have a live-in help, because I do not believe in stereotypes- so I cannot label all domestic helps as evil- and I love to look at the good side in every story. Also, I know that there are those who are as good as they come. Read my previous post on ‘Are Domestic Helps Really to Blame?’ Here.
This decision of mine to hire a live-in help didn’t come without some laid down rules and principles anyway. Below I will share some of my tips which I hope will be of help to you or someone else.
- Pray with them and for them. This works wonders; I used to know one who would always come with confessions and blood curdling stories, asking for a pastor after midnight prayer sessions. Prayer is a powerful weapon. Draw them as close to God as possible by also reading the bible together frequently.
- Don’t divulge too much information to them, especially when you’ve not known them well enough. Be careful about the types of conversations you have with people in their presence. Some of them may use that against you or even end up as spies to outsiders. You never know.
- If you can, please invest in cameras because knowing that you can monitor them in your absence actually helps to keep them in check. And again, who knows what you may find out in their oblivion? I know someone who discovered via a hidden camera that her help used to fetch water from the toilet to prepare her kids’ meals. Irritated much? How heartless can some be to carry out certain actions toward innocent kids?
- Preferably, employ the services of one from the same tribe as you. It may make things easier and make them more loyal knowing that you are related by tribe at least.
- Be generous but make them understand that your benevolence is a token of your appreciation for all the help that they render, so they don’t begin to feel entitled eventually.
- Be nice and kind to them but don’t overstep your boundaries to avoid unnecessary insults. In a nutshell, don’t make them your gossip partners because familiarity breeds contempt. Know where and when to draw the line.
- Don’t expect anything from them. Understand that they are humans like you too, so they can never be perfect. They will have their bad days and good days. Respect their boundaries and advice or correct in love as the need arises.
Now to answer the question,
’Should People Continue To Employ The Services Of Domestic Helps?’
My opinion-
I would say that if you can manage without them, then please certainly do so. If you try hard enough, you would be surprised that you can find a way to make things work out for you without their help. There’s no limit to what you can achieve if you set your mind to it. However, if you really need to hire them, ensure to carry out a meticulous check before you do so and most importantly, pray. Best of luck!
XOXO,
Yours Truly
Nikimandi
Nikimandi
