As mums, we always teach our kids some basic safety rules from, ‘Don’t go anywhere with strangers’ to ‘No one is allowed to touch you’. But there is more to it than that, don’t you think so? Some mums don’t want to teach their kids about body safety because they think they are too young and they don’t want them to be scared. But it’s actually never too soon and it doesn’t even have to be a scary discussion anyway.
I can say with all certainty that all mums worry about how to protect their kids from the dangers of the world. It’s sheer maternal instinct and I believe fathers have theirs too.
Recently, I had a chat with a mum friend of mine, Kaydee, who suggested that I make this post. Two mum friends further declared their interests to have their views on this topic featured on the blog, although, one of them spoke from an informed point of view but preferred to be anonymous. Find their thoughts on this issue opined below:
Kimberly, An Amazing Mum To 2 Lovely Girls Based In Port Harcourt City Nigeria:
I always encourage my girls aged 8 and 5 respectively to talk about their days. I try to build that trust with them because it makes them feel comfy with me and that way, I can detect when something is amiss. I also look out for rare signs like a change in their sleep patterns, eating habit or even mood swings. All these are red flag symptoms for me which I don’t overlook no matter how casual they may seem to an onlooker. I always probe, probe and probe again just to make sure that my mind is at rest at the end of the day. I mean come’ on they are girls after all and they are the main victims in these cases, as far as I can tell. My advice- Be close to your kids, be their best friend, make them trust you completely to the point of being free to share anything with you and no matter what, don’t use the judgmental tone. It’s a major turn off for them.
Anonymous
There is no foolproof way but I will share some of the tips that work for me. When it comes to my kids, I don’t trust anybody including their father. I always do their school run by myself and I ensure that the school is aware of this. So they won’t even let their father or uncle take them if I am not around. They will rather keep them behind, unless told otherwise. It is safer and more convenient for me this way. I cannot afford to take chances at all. As for caregivers and babysitters, those are not in the books for me. I would rather live alone and suffer alone than to employ the services of someone, who is a complete stranger to my kids and I. I have a daughter and a son but I am enlightened enough to know that boys are not any less susceptible to sexual molestation and abuse. So I protect them equally.
These points are really insightful.
My Own Take- Tip 1:
For me, I also make effort to know where my girls are at all times. I try to know their close friends and the parents of these friends as well. I don’t just assume that they are safe with an adult, no matter how familiar, I still pray for their safety and check up on them whenever I can. I have a help who has lived with me for 5 years, she is practically family but that doesn’t stop me from calling to check up on them and asking questions when I return. I even take my time to complete monotonous tasks, like bathing them by myself most of the time and most importantly, letting them know that I am always there for them come what may.
Tip 2:
Another thing I do is that from an early age, I teach my kids to know and identify their body parts and how to keep them clean. I am not a fan of giving these parts names like cupcake and yummy pies like some people do. Yes I know someone who does! From the age of 4, they wash their private parts by themselves and know that NO ONE is allowed to touch these parts, except mum and dad when we are cleaning them up or when I would usually check to ensure that they have cleaned or washed up properly. Even my terrific two year old knows what is expected and abides by this. LOL!
Tip 3:
They also know their boundaries and won’t accept hugs from certain people who they are not comfortable with. I have taught them to voice out when they are not comfortable with anyone in any way. I also make them understand why they should avoid unnecessary body contact with both males and females, kids or adults.
Tip 4:
Kids should know that body secrets are not okay to keep from their mums and should be encouraged to voice out when someone threatens them or tries to make them uncomfortable. They should also learn to say ‘No’ when they are not interested in an activity.
Ultimately:
After all have been said and done, it still boils down to pep talk, doing your best and praying for God’s protection because kids will be kids. They will go on play dates, they will go to school, they will go to the neighbor’s house and the truth is, no matter how you wish for this not to happen, you can’t keep your kids within eyesight at all times. But we still have to do the best we can for them and leave the rest to God!
Thank you guys for reading and thanks to these wonderful mommas who shared their perceptive opinions on the blog today! Please feel free to share your feedbacks in the comment section below and I promise to respond ASAP.
XOXO
Yours Truly.
Nikimandi
